Happiness is a skill – Learn it

Hi guys! Nami here.

I have recently visited a self-improvement course with Sue Kohn-Taylor and I really enjoyed it – gosh I must be getting older – enjoying these kind of things haha, but I loved how I got reminded by that it’s the little things that make the big things and that happiness is a skill and like every skill you can learn it or in this case learn to be happier.

So thought I would put it all into a blog post for you to enjoy as well! Most of the points are probably gonna have you going “I’ve heard this before!” or  “I already know that!” but what I did notice is that sometimes being reminded of those little things, makes a big difference and is sometimes exactly what you needed to hear.

So here it goes: How to be happy?!?

If you are struggling with a bit of unhappiness, write down all of the things you feel unhappy about… Sound pretty counterproductive? Like where are you going with this? Just trust me.

So for me, these are :

  1. I am unhappy when my loved ones are unhappy.
  2. I am living far away from my family and friends in Germany and Japan.
  3. I am trying to juggle fulltime work, our blog, shop, my marriage and personal life which can be challenging as there are not enough hours in a day it feels.

After writing these things down, identify the things you can and can’t change. Single them out.

Most probably you will find that a lot of those “triggers” are not in your control. Which is important to note! You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness.

So point 1.

Totally out of my hands. Yes, I can be there to support my loved ones going through hard times and I sure as hell will but if someone is constantly unhappy or always sees the glass half empty it will eventually drag you down. I have learned to distance myself from negative energy and this can be very tough especially if its someone like your partner or best friend. But you need to come to the realisation that being happy starts from within and until they don’t want to change their outlook it is not your burden to carry.

My 2nd point I can’t change either.

It was my own decision to move to the other side of the world and today while I’m writing this post it is my mothers birthday who lives in Germany.

These times make you realise even more how hard it can be living far away from close family and friends you grew up with. But again this is something I am responsible for, no one forced me to move away, I was responsible for this action and need to take it with all its ups and downs. Being the victim of life will never get you far. I honour the moments I get to spend with my family and overseas friends so much and daily what’s app chats keep us all connected.

My 3rd point is that I feel there is not enough time in a day to do everything such as spend time with my partner, friends, work full time, run my business, walk my dogs, go to the gym, meet for dinner … trust me the list goes on! To be fair whoever feels like there are too many hours in a day? No hard working person that I know.

So what can I do to feel less caught up in juggling a busy lifestyle? Prioritise and have an action plan. For example I need to have structure in my life, during the week I get up at the same time, I have my morning routine, go to work, on my lunch break I check emails for the blog and shop, when I finish work I have 1 hour of me time which I mainly spent with walking my dogs or going to the gym, after that I spent around 3 hours on Serendipity Ave, have dinner and go to bed. It really isn’t exciting or as glamorous as it seems but I get through what I need to because I prioritise what’s important and what my focus is

Remember you won’t get rich by replying to every email, learn to say no, put your phone away when you are spending time with your partner and try to be fully present. When you go to bed each night this will help you to realise that “you have given it your all” and tomorrow is a new day.

Happiness is a way of life and the way you think will determine your “happiness index”. Have you ever heard the saying “simple people are happier?” I would like to rephrase this sentence to “people that worry less – are happier”.

Change your view and make sure you make a conscious effort to start to appreciate the little things in life such as the first cup of coffee in the morning, the seasons change, your fur babies – or human babies, count your blessings!

I carry around my “lucky rock” in my purse every time I see it I think of 3 things I am grateful for today. I truly believe that happiness starts from within and the more you focus on the good and happy in your life, the more you will attract it.

Another thing is “take action” of your life, always be in the driver seat of your life. Never rely on other people to drive you to A to B, take control and ownership.

Also, stop comparing, this is a big one! I have learned not to compare your every day behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlights. We love Social Media as it gives us the opportunity to connect with you all! It’s all about balance and sometimes it is also nice to turn off all the noise and focus on yourself. Just remember no one is perfect no matter how they display themselves online.

Here are some instant happiness booster tips for you:

  • Giving to other people – it seriously feels so good to make someone’s day, today I dare you to buy your best friend some flowers, get your colleague a coffee or smile at a stranger. Making other people happy will hit you back right away!
  • If you are feeling sad, don’t withdrawal. Make an effort to stop focusing on the people that do not like you and focus on the people that love you.
  • Exercise – yes, we all know it endorphins blaaaaaah. Even if you manage to walk around the block, anything to just do YOU for a little while oh and leave your phone at home.
  • Hug – yes maybe not strangers…I mean sure you go girl haha but hugging your partner, best friend, mum, siblings is the best. And too often we forget to really appreciate these things in a busy schedule. Brent (my husband) and I do random 20-second hugs throughout the day, it really works.
  • Music – I don’t know about you but I need music in my life I don’t know anyone that can stay mad for long after listening to 90’s playlists on Spotify. If you want to listen to my playlist its called “Eau De Nami” and Pascale and I’s playlist “Pascale & Nami Mood” I warn you its a mixture of everything and upon downloading you forfeit your right to judge lol
  • Gratitude Rock – As I mentioned earlier, carry a rock in your pocket and whenever you touch it count your blessings – you will soon be showered in more things to be grateful for.
  • Self-care – you can’t pour from an empty cup!

Lastly: I’m beginning to recognise that real happiness isn’t something large and looming on the horizon ahead but something small, numerous and already here. The smile of someone you love, the sound of rain while you fall asleep, deep conversations, pasta, the warm sunset. Those little everyday joys all lined up in a row.

Nami Shadbolt Fashion Influencer Nami Shadbolt Fashion Influencer Nami Shadbolt Fashion Influencer Nami Shadbolt Fashion Influencer Nami Shadbolt Fashion Influencer Nami Shadbolt Fashion Influencer Nami Shadbolt Fashion Influencer Nami Shadbolt Fashion Influencer

Love you babes <3


  1. Japanesesand on June 29, 2018 at 1:23 am

    One of the best entries ever of all!

    • Pascale Baker on October 5, 2018 at 8:12 am

      Thank you xx

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