Today is my 30th birthday!
The big 3-0. Jeez, I made it! You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I’ve had people make a huge deal out of this shift into a new decade. So many people have been commenting about it: “OMG I can’t believe you are thirty soon!” or “OMFG how do you feel about being thirty now!”. Or how about my favourite: “Aren’t you scared?” (like turning 30 is the same as becoming Voldemort).
With a bit of self-reflection, I thought I’d sit down and type out all of the things I’ve learnt getting here. In my twenties, whenever anyone mentioned Dirty Thirty, I felt sorry for them. Like, 30s? That’s full on adulthood. Gross.
But I’m keen to flip this silly thought around! I’m truly grateful I’ve made it to thirty! It’s a privilege. Especially after all those things I did during my 20s that I thought were good ideas.
TBH I have no problems leaving my 20s behind. They were fun. I did some things right (such as starting my own business and getting two pugs) and I screwed up plenty of others, but most importantly I had a lot of fun in the process. My 20s, much like for everyone else’s, were about self-discovery and growth.
You can choose to be anxious and stressed about turning a certain age, or you can decide to be grateful and open to another year of life.
I know who I am, I know what I want out of life, and for the most part, I’ve figured out how to get there. It’s not even so much about accomplishments; married or not, children or none, career or still figuring it out – it’s about self-realisation and being able to say, “Hey, you- I really love you!” to that reflection in the mirror. Accepting myself has been the hardest journey of all, and although I’m not there yet, I’m a heck of a lot closer than I was at 21.
30 things I have learned
- Be self made: if you REALLY WANT something , you need to get out there and do it. No one else will make it happen for you except the person you look at in the mirror everyday. Don’t rely on anyone else, control the controllable, and get it done.
- Wake up everyday believing something magical is about to happen.
- Boys will be boys, don’t run after them. If he wants you he will find a way. If you really want to know pick up the phone don’t wait for him to call. You should call him.
- No relationship is perfect but the grass is green wherever you water it. Make time for each other, listen to one another, and let your other half be as weird as they want to be. You don’t need to love everything they do, but you do need to support them in their weirdness. Have time apart as well. Try to make at least one day a week your day.
- And remember make sure you LOVE yourself first before expecting someone else to love you.
- Get 7-8 hours sleep a night. I make sure I get eight hours every night. With a busy life this can be hard, but your skin, body, and brain will thank you for it.
- Finish what you started. Set yourself a goal, stick to it, and never do things half-assed (always use your full ass!).
- Squat! Talking about asses – It’s your best friend and your jeans fit better that way.
- Never fall asleep with make up on. Take it off and double cleanse ALWAYS.
- Go see a skin care specialist and get the best skin you have ever had! Since signing up with Caci Clinic, my skin has been taken to a whole other level of beautiful! Caci know what they are doing and I’m glad to be able to leave it to them (one less thing to worry about!).
- Always cream your body after showering.
- Use sunscreen – everyday, winter or summer, end of story. The New Zealand sun is a killer and you need to protect your skin! No need to go all Asian on it (talking umbrella and gloves and hey I can joke about it because I’m Asian). Sunscreen will do the trick!
- Buy the bag – invest in classic pieces you can still rock as a hot nana.
- Don’t buy fakes – been there done that, yup, they don’t last and it doesn’t feel the same. Where is your pride girl? haha
- Tell your mum you love her – Tell her as much as you can. For me living on the other side of the world from my mum really makes you treasure those moments you get to spend together. I try to ring as often as I can and message her photos almost daily. Make sure you send her a postcard or letter too, mums love that stuff and it never gets old.
- Support fellow girl and boy bosses – these are the dreamers, the make-believers, your local. Support them, share your knowledge, connect and collaborate.
- Remember girls will break your heart – more than any man ever will.
- Learn not to give a fuck about what people think and others’ opinions about you, you will be a lot happier!
- Remember positive attracts positive. You can’t expect to live a positive life with a negative mind, those two don’t mix together.
- Laugh at yourself, never take yourself too seriously.
- Not everyone is going to like you, you are not pizza and that’s ok! Find your people that join into your weirdness and never let them go.
- If someone compliments you, take it! Say thank you and don’t question it.
- Stop smoking. Yes you’ve heard it before but this is coming from a former ten year chainsmoker. Give that shit up. It’s nasty and you get wrinkles. Like, no judging (I have the odd smoke when out and about or when I’m trying to channel my inner European) but don’t get hooked.
- Stop competing. It’s toxic for you. Always remember no one is you and that is your power.
- Stop holding on to things that don’t serve you any longer. Compare it to a fart: if it feels forced it’s probably shit – you don’t need that.
- Whatever you can imagine, you can have.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help – you will be surprised by how many people are genuinely wanting to help you out.
- When I turned 20 I thought that I would be mature by now, you know, have my life sorted? Well, I’m not, and I’m still sorting it all out as I go. I learned that that is ok. There is no correct timeline on how things are done or by when.
- Trust in your gut and learn to listen to your inner voice.
- Learn to say NO. Don’t feel bad about raising your opinion. Those who matter will appreciated your honesty and those that think it’s weird don’t matter.